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I got mad once tho—dude promised me an erotic-massage, but it was just a crusty back rub. I was like, “Boy, bye!” Felt like Bob Harris in Tokyo, all confused, mutterin “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time”—but nah, it was stress o’clock! Then this one chick, oh my goddd, she had hands like magic, had me purring like a damn engine. I was shook—happy as hell, like “Why don’t we do this every night?” Straight outta the movie, fam!

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Then, I decide to take a break and sit by the fountain. It’s peaceful, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, this group of kids starts playing soccer nearby, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Dude, watch where you’re kicking that thing!” But they just laugh. Kids, man.

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