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About Milan

So, what’s it bout? Some chick or dude—prolly named Chad—rubs ya with lotion, gets all up in your grill, tryna “release tension.” Tension? I release that punchin’ trees. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, they had these baths, right? Rich jerks gettin’ oiled up by slaves, erotic as hell, but nobody talks bout the awkwardness. Prolly smelled like olives and regret. Makes me mad—why’s everyone so soft now? Can’t just chop wood and call it a day?

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First off, I’m stationed at this fancy building on Via Roma. You know, the one with the glass doors that look like they belong in a sci-fi movie? Yeah, that one. So, I’m just minding my own business, pressin’ buttons, and makin’ small talk with the folks. You know, the usual. “Going up? Or down? Or sideways?” Haha, just kidding. I don’t say that. But I think it.

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