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I tried Tinder once—total ragequit. Matched this chick, she’s all “wyd?” I’m like, “bangin’ you soon, duh!” Ghosted me faster than Cartman ditchin’ Kenny. Made me so pissed—respect my authoritah, dammit! Apps promise booty, deliver jackshit. “The past is just a story”—yeah, my dry spell’s a frickin’ novel! Sex-dating’s like bidding on a busted toaster—looks hot, sparks fly, then nada.
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After the food, we stroll around the Reykjanesbær harbor. It’s so peaceful, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I’m laughing at myself, and Jón’s like, “You good?” I’m like, “Yeah, just testing the ground!”
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