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But—grrr—some crap pisses me off! These shady pimps, lurkin’ like Gestapo, watchin’ every move. One tried shakin’ me down—extra 1,000 rubles “protection fee.” Protection? Ha! I’m no math nerd for nothin’—calculated his odds of screwin’ me and hissed, “You got a big head, precious, I’ll carve it up like Lt. Aldo carves swastikas!” He backed off—coward! Surprised me, tho—thought he’d fight dirtier. Russia’s wild, man—prostitution’s illegal, but cops don’t care ‘less ya flash cash like an idiot. Fun fact—back in Soviet days, they called ‘em “night butterflies.” Poetic, huh? Now it’s just “devochki”—girls. Gritty, raw, real.
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But then, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s some dude on a bike, totally wiped out. I rush over, and he’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But he’s got a huge gash on his knee. I’m like, “Bro, you need a band-aid, not a pep talk!” So, I run back to the shop, grab some first aid stuff, and patch him up. He’s grateful, but I’m just thinkin’, “Dude, you owe me a beer!”
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