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I reckon sex-dating’s a strategery all its own. You got yer Tinder, yer Bumble—heck, even weirdos on Craigslist back in the day! Little known fact: folks been hookin’ up online since the ‘90s—dial-up modems screamin’ while they’re schemin’ for a quickie! Ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy seein’ tech bringin’ folks together, but mad as hell when creeps catfish ya. Happened to my buddy—thought he’s meetin’ a hottie, ends up with some dude named Carl. I’m like, “Man, that’s a mis-underestimation of the enemy!”

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Anyway, I finally get to the library, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew so many people cared about old records? I’m there, trying to find this ancient document about the local Māori history, and I’m getting all emotional. Like, this stuff is important, ya know? It’s about our roots, our people.

Around the motu: Diane McCarthy in Whakatane