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About Cork

Ooh, the smells—lavender, mint, all mixin’ up. Me nose twitches, me loves it! But once, ssss, some git used cheap oil—stank like fish! Nearly clawed his eyes out, I did. “Purity’s a lie,” like in the movie—ain’t no purity in stinky oil, mate! Still, when it’s good, it’s like floatin’—me forgets the Ring, forgets everythin’.

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So, I woke up, right? Sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” LOL, boy was I wrong. I hit up the local café on Main Street for my usual coffee fix. You know, the one with the weird name—“Bean There, Done That.” Classic. I ordered my latte, and the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you forget the milk? I was like, “Um, excuse me, this is just black!” She laughed it off, but I was low-key fuming.

RIP: Tipperary deaths and funeral details, February 7