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So, escortin’—it’s old as dirt, yeah? Back in Victorian times, these lasses’d be sneakin’ round posh gents’ houses, all hush-hush. Little fact for ya: some’d even nick the silverware—cheeky sods! Imagine that, gettin’ paid to shag *and* rob—multitaskin’ at its finest! Makes me chuckle, picturin’ ‘em scarperin’ off with a candlestick shoved down their knickers.

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So, I’m trying to get my head in the game when my phone buzzes. It’s a client, freaking out about a car accident. I mean, I get it, accidents suck. But this guy? He’s acting like he just lost a limb or something. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a fender bender. We’ll sort it out.” But he’s not having it.

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