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Yo, I love tha freedom tho. Sex-dating lets you be you, no strings, just vibes. Met this chick once, fine as hell, we clicked, smashed, then bounced. No drama, just “see ya when I see ya.” Happy as a motherfucker that night, fo’ shizzle. But then—surprise, surprise—some dude sent me a dick pic. Bruh, I ain’t sign up for that! Tossed my phone like it was cursed, laughin’ my ass off after.

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When I get to the station, my buddy’s not there. I’m waitin’, and waitin’. I’m about to lose it. I check my phone again, and he’s like, “Oops, I’m at the wrong station.” I’m like, “Dude, there’s only one station in Mersch!” I can’t even.

Stars reassign left wing Michael Mersch to Texas