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Favorite part? When they hit that spot—BOOM! “We’re gonna survive this!”—like Clive Owen yellin’ in the chaos. Back’s crackin’, stress meltin’, I’m floatin’, motherfucker! Tho, once, some jackass used too much oil—slipped off the damn table! Laughed my ass off, but fuck, that hurt! You gotta find the good ones, pros who know the body like a map.

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Then I hit up the Portlaoise Leisure Centre. Gotta keep fit, right? I’m diving into the pool, and it’s packed. Kids everywhere, splashing like they’re training for the Olympics. I’m just trying to do my thing, but these little rascals are like mini torpedoes. I almost got taken out by a cannonball! I was like, “Dude, chill! This ain’t a water park!”

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