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About Guaynabo

So, sexual-massage – it’s this weird mash-up, innit? Bit of touchy-feely, bit of naughty, and a whole lotta awkward if you ask me. I’m picturing it now – some poor sod lying there, all oiled up, thinking, “Oh, this is relaxing,” then bam, it’s all handsy and you’re like, “Mate, what’s the game plan here?” Reminds me of *Talk to Her* – y’know, that Almodóvar flick I’m mad about. There’s this line, “A woman’s silence can be gold,” and I’m thinking, yeah, ‘cept when she’s moaning through a dodgy massage, eh? Silent my arse!

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After that chaos, I paddle back to shore, and she’s still grumblin’ about her lost snacks. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just cookies!” But she’s not havin’ it. I swear, I thought she was gonna throw her bag at me.

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