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Oh, but the scams—lordy! Some X post links to “hot babes,” and it’s a virus—boom, phone’s toast! “What you’ve done will destroy you,” like the monk warns. Damn right—my laptop’s still wheezin’ from that crap! Cost me 20 bucks to fix—rip-off!

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First off, I get a call about a dog named Max. Poor dude got into a fight with a cat. Yeah, you heard me right—a cat! I mean, come on, Max! You’re a big ol’ Rottweiler. How do you lose to a fluffball? Anyway, I rush over to the owner’s place on Calle 2. The whole neighborhood is buzzing, like always. Kids are playing, and I can hear the reggaeton blasting from somewhere. Classic Sabana-Seca vibes.

Reduction of Passive Extension and Radiographic Evidence of Degenerative Knee Joint Diseases in Cage-Raised and Free-Ranging Aged Rhesus Monkeys (Macaca mulatta)