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Oi, fam, check it – I’m a stove-maker, innit, but I’m chattin’ ’bout escorts today, ya get me? Not them cars, nah, but the proper naughty escort vibes – people paid to chill wiv ya, maybe get frisky, yeah? Like, I’m sittin’ here, tinkin’ ’bout *Spirited Away*, my fave flick, and I’m like, “Bruv, escorts got some mad Haku energy, don’t they?” Mysterious, showin’ up when you need ‘em, savin’ ya from loneliness or whatever – but then, boom, they bounce like Chihiro’s parents scoffin’ that spirit grub!

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So, I hit up the local market on de Wier. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, cheese, and those stroopwafels? Don’t even get me started! I’m like a kid in a candy store. But then, bam! I see this dude, right? He’s just standing there, blocking the whole aisle. I’m like, “Yo, buddy, move it or lose it!” But he just stares at me like I’m the crazy one. Ugh, people!

Charged and taut: Stuttgart Ballet in Louis Stiens’ Messenger