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So, I roll down the window—curious, slow, Larry style. “Hey, darlin’, what’s the deal?” She smirks, leans in, says, “What you lookin’ for, pops?” Pops! Me! I’m laughin’—she’s got sass. I’m not buyin’, just talkin’, diggin’ for the scoop. She tells me—$50 for a quickie, $100 for more. Cash up front, no cards. I’m like, “What, no Venmo?” She rolls her eyes—guess I’m old-school. But here’s a tidbit—did ya know some of these gals use burner phones? Like drug dealers! Keeps it secret, safe. Blew my mind—high-tech hookin’!

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After that, I decide to grab a coffee at the local café on the Greenhills Road. Best decision ever! The barista, a lovely gal named Aoife, makes the best flat white. I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all philosophical, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going on about the best chipper in Clondalkin. Like, seriously? It’s gotta be the one on the Old Nangor Road, right? But they’re all like, “Nah, it’s the one near the library.” I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Y’all need to chill. It’s just chips!”

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