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About Kyoto

Now, I tried it once, yah? Was all tensed up from stealin’ moons—usual day for Gru. Dis chick, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m tinkin’, “Dis is nice, but where’s da catch?” Den—lightbulb!—she goes for da tingly spots, ya know, da ones dey don’t show in yoga class. I’m all, “What you gonna do wit dat?” like Sheriff Bell in da movie, all confused but kinda into it. Happy? Oh, I was floatin’, like Vector on his jetpack, but den—boom—angry! She charged me triple, said it’s “special service.” Robbery, I tell ya! Nearly flipped da table, but dem hands, dey were magic, so I let it slide.

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Then, I decided to hit up the beach. Hasaki’s got this dope stretch of sand along the Pacific. I mean, the waves were crashin’, and the sun was shinin’. Perfect, right? But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my snack! Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my day, and this bird’s out here livin’ its best life. I yelled, “Hey! That’s mine!” but it just flew off like it owned the place.

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