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So yeah, Escort’s my jam—cheap, tough, bit of a trickster. Like me, innit? Smug, scrappy, takin’ the piss. Ford should bring it back—stick it to the posh SUV twats. Bet I could carpenter one from scratch—give me a welder and a week! “I am burdened with glorious purpose”—revivin’ the Escort, one mad story at a time. What ya reckon, mate?

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So, I’m torn. Work or fun? I choose fun. I mean, who can resist a festival? I leave the cows in the hands of my not-so-reliable coworker. Big mistake.