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Now, here’s a laugh – some punter thought she’d shag him for a fiver! A fiver! Bruv, inflation’s a ting, even for whores! I cackled, thinkin’ “Mate, you’re deluded,” sarky as fuck. She told him to jog on, sharpish. Love that, her sass is gold.

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After a few minutes, the lights flicker back on. Everyone’s relieved, but I’m still chuckling. Ion’s like, “You’re heartless!” Nah, man, just realistic.

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