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Dunno, escort’s got guts. Takes balls—or ovaries, ha!—to hustle like that. Me, I’d be a mess, trippin’ over my flippers, blushin’ green. Hi-ho! What a riot, tho—imagine me escortin’? “Kermit’s here, baby, let’s roll!” Nah, I’ll stick to stackin’ shelves. Escort’s too wild for this frog!

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So I’m munchin’ away, and I see this group of kids playin’ footy in the park. They’re havin’ a blast, and I’m feelin’ all nostalgic. I used to play footy there all the time. But then, I see one of the kids trip and fall. Oof! He’s fine, but it reminded me of all the times I’ve eaten dirt on that pitch.

Body found in woodland during police search for missing man