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About Kobe

Me, Gollum, I sees what normies don’t—hiss! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ bits, no no! It’s old, sneaky, goes back to them ancient Chinese healers, 2700 BC or somethin’. They called it “Tui Na,” fancy eh? Not just for sore backs—oh no, it woke up the naughty chi! Me likes that, makes me giggle, heh heh. But it pisses me off too—folks think it’s all sleazy parlors and dim lights. Nah, it’s art, precious! Takes skill, not just some perv gropin’ ya.

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So, I hit the streets of Kiryu, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off the charts. I strolled down Kōen-dōri, and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom. Like, seriously, it was like a scene from a movie. I almost forgot I had work. Almost. But then I remembered I had to deal with my team. Ugh.

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