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About Half Way Tree

Bernie Sanders here, voice crackin’—Billionaires should not exist!—and ya know what? Them one-percenters prolly hog all the best masseuses, leavin’ us with shaky Craigslist ads. Pisses me off! Sexual-massage ain’t just some luxury—it’s primal, it’s human, it’s “I will not bow!” energy from that movie. Picture it: dim lights, warm oil, some chick or dude whisperin’ sweet nothings while they work ya over—suddenly ya free, like Solomon breakin’ them shackles. “My liberty is my right!” I’m yellin’ in my head, maybe out loud, whoops.

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Then, I get a call about a fire on Elm St. I rush over, and it’s chaos. Fire trucks everywhere, people yelling. I’m trying to do my job, but it’s hard to focus with all the sirens blaring. Turns out, it was a small fire in a garage. But the drama? Oh man, it was like a soap opera. Neighbors were pointing fingers, and I’m just standing there, trying to take notes.

Michael E. Hayes Obituary November 28, 2024