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But—oh, man—some blokes she’s met? Total wankers! One geezer tried stiffin’ her, said, “You’re just a dream, doll.” Made me mad, proper fumin’! I’m thinkin’, “Mate, she’s realer than your fake Rolex!” Another time, this posh git drops a tenner—tenner!—for her troubles. Stingy sod! Rita’s like, “This is no longer your business,” cool as ice. Pulled that line right from *Mulholland*, gave me chills, baby!

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So, I’m sippin’ my rubbery brew, and I see this old dude, right? He’s just standing there, staring at the fountain in the square. Like, bro, it’s just water. But then he starts talking to it! I’m like, “Is this guy for real?” Turns out, he’s been coming to that fountain for years. Says it gives him wisdom. I’m thinking, “Dude, you need a new hobby.”

Superstitious Deschamps 'planks for an hour a day and shaves his assistant's head'