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About Kyiv

But it pisses me off too, yeah? Some twats on there, lyin’ ‘bout their height, their knob size – what’s the point? Ya meet ‘em and it’s like, “This ain’t what I ordered!” Makes me wanna scream, “I’m not here to judge you, just fuck off with the bullshit!” Total wankers ruin it fer the rest. Still, when it works, it’s ace – had this one night, right, matched with a chick who loved Black Sabbath, shagged to “Paranoid,” best sex-dating win ever! Felt like a rock god, I did.

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But then, I hit a snag. I’m walking down Kostiantynivska Street, and I see this guy trying to fix his bike. He’s struggling hard. I’m like, “Need a hand?” He looks at me like I’m crazy. I mean, I’m an ichthyologist, not a bike mechanic! But I help him anyway. Turns out, he’s a local artist. We start chatting about fish and art, and it’s actually pretty cool.

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