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Me? I’m obsessed, fam. Last time I got one, chick had hands like magic—had me floatin’, swear to God. Made me happy as hell, like “the greatest thing you’ll ever learn” is a damn good rubdown. But yo, some spots be shady—had one dude tryin’ to overcharge me, talkin’ $200 for 30 minutes? Nah, fam, I ain’t that thirsty. Pissed me off, had me ready to bounce, like “Truth hurts, love bleeds,” you know? Fuck that noise.

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After I finally get my boat back, I’m feelin’ a bit better. I decide to hit up the local pub on Špitálska Street. You know, the one with the best goulash in town? I order a bowl, and it’s like a hug in a bowl. Seriously, I could swim in that stuff. While I’m chowin’ down, I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re arguing about the best way to cook cabbage. Cabbage! I mean, come on! I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh.

Mayor of Nová Dubnica, Slovakia visits Dubna – Joint Institute for Nuclear Research