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About Depok

Real talk, sexual-massage ain’t just some dodgy rub-n-tug, nah. It’s ancient, bruv—Tantra vibes, from India, like 5,000 years back. Them old yogis was kneadig’ bits to awaken “life energy”—kundalini, innit? Proper spiritual shit! Makes ya tingle all over, not just yer naughty bits. I’m like, “Wicked, sign me up!”—‘cos after jumpin’ into wildfires, me back’s knackered, and me soul’s screamin’, ya feel?

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I was soaked in seconds. I ducked into a little shop on Jalan Merdeka, hoping to wait it out. This place had the best coffee ever. I ordered a cup, and while I was waiting, I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. They were fighting about... wait for it... who left the cap off the toothpaste. I mean, really? That’s what you’re fighting about? I almost laughed out loud.