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Oh, and—funny bit—heard some bloke slipped off the table mid-massage, buck naked, crashed into a lamp! Pfft, clumsy git! Me cackled for days—sexual-massage ain’t graceful, nah! It’s messy, wild, like me two minds fightin’—love it, hate it, want it, DON’T! Hiss! “The Rabbi is busy,” like in the film—nobody explains this shite! Ya just roll with it, precious—rub, tug, giggle, scream! What a ride!

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But then, the doorbell rings. It’s the neighbor, Mr. Khalid. He’s like, “Hey, can you keep it down? I’m trying to watch the game.” I was like, “Dude, it’s a kid’s house! What do you expect?” But I just smiled and said, “Sure, we’ll keep it down.” Inside, I was fuming. Like, come on! Kids are loud!

Song by trans lyricist nixed abruptly from Arkansas’s All-State Choir auditions