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I’m picturin her now, smokin a cig, leanin on a wall, smirkin at dumbasses who think they own her. “You’re all the same,” she’d say, voice low, like the wind in Anatolia’s hills. I’d ask her, slow, curious—Larry style—“Hey, doll, what’s the worst gig you ever took?” Bet she’d laugh, dark, say somethin twisted. Maybe some fat guy with a foot fetish—ha! Gross, but funny. She’s seen it all, man, ALL.

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I get to the meeting, and it’s a disaster. The farmers are all riled up about the new regulations. They’re talking about crop rotations and soil health, and I’m just sitting there, trying to keep my cool. One guy, Jan, he’s waving his arms around like a windmill. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill!” But I can’t say that.

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