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So, fave part? When they knead ya slow, teasing—like, damn, gimme more! Gets me all tingly, surprised me first time. Thought it’d be awkward, some rando rubbing me up, but nah, it’s chill. Pro tip: don’t wear tight jeans after—oil stains, ugh, rookie move! Oh, and the smells—lavender, eucalyptus—chef’s kiss! Tho once, this chick used patchouli—gagged, hated it, smelled like hippie armpit. “I don’t know what I hit,” I grumbled—yep, movie line again—total mood.

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After that, I decided to walk it off. I wandered down to the riverbank. The Rhine is beautiful there. I mean, the view is killer. I sat there for a bit, just soaking it all in. Then, I see this group of people doing yoga on the riverbank. Like, who does yoga in public? But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

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