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About Zagreb

Last week, scoped this parlor—neon sign buzzin’ “Happy Endings.” Hella sus, right? I’m thinkin’, “Who’s watchin’ who here?”—like them creepy tapes in me fave flick! Massage girl winks, says, “Relax, sailor!” I’m like, “I ain’t no squid, lady!” But, real talk—sexual-massage got history, Bikini Bottom style! Ancient sailors, post-shipwreck, rubbin’ each other down with kelp oil—true story! Bet ya didn’t know that, huh? Made me giggle, picturin’ barnacle-covered dudes gettin’ frisky—argh!

I’M SIMONE

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So, I’m hustlin’ to the café on Trg J. J. Strossmayera. I needed my caffeine fix, ya know? I order my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, because I’m fancy like that. But the barista? She spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” I mean, come on! I’m tryin’ to start my day, not swim in coffee.

Zagreb rocket attack victims, pilot Rudolf Peresin remembered on Saturday