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About Brasov

So, this tart’s out there, flogging her wares near the dodgy end of town. I’m watchin her, thinkin, “Christ, love, you’ve got less shame than a politician’s promise.” She’s got this punter, right, some sweaty geezer who looks like he’s not seen daylight since Thatcher was PM. She’s all, “Hurry up, darling,” cackling like a hyena, and I’m fuming—cos it’s 3 a.m., and I’m freezin my bollocks off tailing her! Little known fact, yeah? Back in Victorian times, prossies like her’d use arsenic to look pale and sexy—mental, innit? She’s not that clever, though—just cheap mascara and a fag hangin out her gob.

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Then, I decided to grab a coffee at my favorite spot, Café Galanesti. I walk in, and the barista, Ana, is there. She’s always super friendly. I order my usual, a cappuccino, and she gives me this look. “You’re not getting a pastry today?” she asks. I’m like, “Nah, trying to watch my figure.” But let’s be real, I just didn’t wanna share my calories.