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Little fact for ya – back in old Rome, escorts were a thing! Called em “companions” – fancy, huh? Sorrentino’d love that, all poetic and messy. I’m picturin Jep stumblin into one at a wild Rome bash – “This is the trick!” he’d laugh, half drunk. Me? I’d be sippin my wine, goin, “Hmm… clever gals, makin bank!”

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I get there, and my mate’s late. Typical. I’m pacing around, thinking about how I could be back in the woods, chillin’ with my trees. But then, I see this family having a picnic. They’ve got a whole spread—sandwiches, cakes, the works. I’m drooling.

Haverhill – Two people arrested after incident at funfair