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Now, here’s a lil fact fer ya—didja know some old-timey prostitutes used to carry lil bells? Jingled when they walked, lettin folks know they was open fer business! Ain’t that a hoot? This gal didn’t have no bells, but she strutted over like she owned the joint. “What’s yer deal, cowboy?” she says, voice raspy as a gravel road. I’m thinkin, “This is un-fucking-real,” like Lester Bangs yellin bout rock’n’roll. Made me happy as a pig in mud—finally somethin wild!

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my coffee right outta my hand. I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching my precious drink splatter all over the sidewalk. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” The kid just laughs and keeps running. I’m fuming, but I can’t help but chuckle a bit. Kids, man.

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