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Oh, and get this – some folks say erotic-massage boosts yer chi or whatever! Energy flow, ancient Chinese trick, who knew? I’m like, “Sign me up, I need that pep!” But, ugh, the oil stench stuck in my hair for days – Homer sniffed me like a dog, so embarassing! I’m mutterin’, “Hmm… get lost, ya big lug!” Still, that slow, steamy touch? Worth it, I ain’t lyin’. It’s naughty but nice, like stealin’ cookies from Marge’s jar – oops, that’s me!

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So, I get to the ring, and the adrenaline is pumping. The crowd is hyped, and I’m thinking, “This is it!” I’m feeling like a rockstar. I get in there, and let me tell you, that bull was no joke. He was massive! I mean, I’ve seen some big ones, but this dude? He was like a tank on legs.

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