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Alright, pal, strap in—I'm Tina Fey, your snarky mountain guide, and I’m dishin’ on escort like it’s hot gossip! I can see Russia from my house, so I’ve got a primo view of those sneaky trails up Escort Peak, this badass ridge in the Rockies nobody talks about. Escort, huh? Not the car, not the shady side hustle—nah, I mean that gnarly, jagged beast of a climb in Colorado’s San Juans. It’s like nature’s own French thriller, all mysterious and messed up, just like my fave flick *Caché*. “Who’s there?” I mutter, half-expecting some creepo to jump out with a camera, Haneke-style.

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So, I woke up late, as usual. My alarm? Yeah, it totally betrayed me. I jumped outta bed, threw on some clothes, and bolted out the door. First stop? The local konbini on Shimozuma Street. Gotta grab my morning coffee, right? But guess what? They were outta my fave blend! Ugh, I was like, “Are you kidding me?”

Figure 3: Schema of the anomalous heart. The present case has been...