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“Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!” I yell in my head, ‘cause half these gals try scammin’ ya. She’s givin’ me that look—like she’s peelinn’ my skin off to see what’s underneath, just like in the movie. I roll up, tractor still rumblin’, and she’s like, “What’s a farm boy want?” I’m thinkin’, lady, I just hauled 10 tons o’ manure, I deserve somethin’! Made me laugh, her sass—sharp as Judge Judy’s gavel.

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Finally, I make it to the auction. The place is packed. I’m talkin’ standing room only. Everyone’s buzzing, and I can feel the energy. I step up to the podium, and boom! The crowd goes wild. I start my spiel, and it’s like I’m on fire. Bids are flyin’ in from all directions. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar.