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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my favorite flick, *Talk to Her*, that Almodóvar genius, 2002. Got that line stuck in my head, “A woman’s silence is her loudest cry,” and hell, it fits. Lookin’ for a hooker ain’t no picnic, trust me. I’d rather wrestle a bear blindfolded than deal with this crap.
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Then, while I’m workin’, I hear this loud commotion down on the street. Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids playin’ football on the road. They’re kickin’ the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or somethin’. I can’t help but smile. They’re havin’ a blast, and it reminds me of my childhood. But then, BOOM! The ball comes flyin’ at me and hits my ladder! I almost fall! I’m like, “Yo, watch it!” But they just laugh. Kids, man. They don’t care.
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