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About Schaan

Gets me thinkin’—why’s it so bloody addictive? The thrill, innit? That “will they, won’t they” bollocks. Had this one lass, total minx, kept teasin’—“meet me, no meet me”—drove me up the wall. Finally hooked up, and she’s all “I’m a spy too.” Laughed my arse off—worst line ever. Still smashed, tho—shaken, not stirred, baby.

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When I get there, the stone’s gone! I’m like, “No way!” I start asking around, and this kid points to a group of teenagers. They’re using it as a frisbee! I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh at the absurdity. I march over, and they’re like, “What’s this?” I’m like, “That’s my livelihood, you punks!” They just look at me, wide-eyed.

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