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Precioussss, listen up, ya filthy hobbitses! Erotic-massage, ooh, it’s a sneaky treat, innit? Slippery hands, all oiled up, rubbin’ ya down like ya some prized pig! Me likes it, yesss, makes me feel all tingly, not like them nasty bars in that stinkin’ prison from “A Prophet”. Remember Malik, precious? “You’re my ears now,” he’d say – well, erotic-massage is me ears, me eyes, me everything, hearin’ every muscle scream sweet relief!

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Then, I get a call about a fire on Elm St. I rush over, and it’s chaos. Fire trucks everywhere, people yelling. I’m trying to do my job, but it’s hard to focus with all the sirens blaring. Turns out, it was a small fire in a garage. But the drama? Oh man, it was like a soap opera. Neighbors were pointing fingers, and I’m just standing there, trying to take notes.

The Breakdown Podcast: Hayes: "Time to Long Everything!"