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Lemme tell ya, had one once—lordy, was I redder’n a tomato! This gal’s hands was magic, like she’s playin’ a fiddle on my back. Got me all tingly, happier’n a pig in slop. But then—oh, I was madder’n a wet hen—she ups an’ says, “That’s $50 extra!” For what? A lil’ spice? Humph! “How much can one man take?”—that’s what Monty’d say, an’ I felt it, y’all. Still, them knots in my shoulders? Gone quicker’n a jackrabbit.

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After the rain, I’m tryin’ to get back to work, and I hear this commotion down by the river. It’s the Topľa River, and it’s usually so calm. But today? It’s wild! I run over, and there’s a bunch of folks fishin’ and yellin’. Turns out, someone caught a massive catfish! Like, bigger than my dog! Everyone’s takin’ pics, and I’m just standin’ there, thinkin’, “Man, I should’ve brought my rod.”

Storks are already here