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Lemme drop some truth—did ya know erotic-massage goes way back? Like, ancient Rome, gladiators gettin’ rubbed down after fights—wild, huh? Bet they didn’t have lavender oil tho, just sweat and grit. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ ‘bout some oiled-up dude in a toga, slippin’ around. Nowadays, it’s all fancy—candles, weird whale music, the works. Got me happy as hell, ‘cept when they charge an arm and a leg—pisses me off! Fifty bucks for 30 minutes? “Why so serious?” I wanna yell, but nah, I’m too relaxed.

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Down by Hainwiese Park, nature's calling. Walk those paths, spot the leaky fountain. I sometimes get mad about broken benches. They make me mad, real mad. The park, though, has charm: grass underfoot like a fresh start. But you? It all just gets dirty and damp sometimes.

Ralf Bornefeld