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Picture this—dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands sliding everywhere, tension meltin’ like a villain’s plan when I stroll in. It’s not just a rubdown, nah, it’s a bleedin’ artform. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got sexual-massages to “ease the mind.” Bet they were randy as goats, tho, not foolin’ anyone. Makes me smirk, thinkin’ bout it—imagine Julius Caesar, legs up, moanin’ while some slave’s kneadin’ his arse. History’s wild, innit?

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, I see this huge crowd gatherin’ near the Uijeongbu Arts Center. I’m like, “What’s goin’ on?” Turns out, they were havin’ some street performance. I mean, who doesn’t love a good show? I got sucked in, and before I knew it, I was laughin’ my ass off at this dude dressed as a giant kimchi. Like, who even thinks of that?

Bishop of Uijeongbu Diocese Benedictus Son Hee-Song