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Favorite part? When they hit that neck spot—pure bliss. Like—boom—“The girl saw her destiny.” Happy as a kid with candy. Oh, and—funny story—this one masseuse farted mid-session. Room stank, we laughed so hard I tipped extra. Shit happens, ya know?

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I jump out, adrenaline pumping. I grab my chute and leap into action. I’m flying over the flames, feeling like a superhero. But then, I see a cat stuck on a roof. Seriously? A cat? I’m like, “Not today, Fluffy!” I swoop down, grab the little furball, and land like a boss. The crowd goes wild. “You’re a hero!” they shout. I’m blushing, but also thinking, “I just saved a cat. What’s next, saving a dog?”

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