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But some of ‘em, mate – clever as fuck. One bird I met, she’s bankin’ thousands, got a flat in London, all cash! Says, “I’m my own boss,” and I’m like, fair play, luv! Beats slavin’ in the mines. “Love is an illusion,” Tabu reckons, and she’s livin’ it – no strings, just bling. Made me happy, that did, seein’ her stick it to the man.

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First off, I’m an actuary. Yeah, I know, super exciting, right? But today, I was just trying to get my coffee fix at the local café on De Heuvel. I’m standing there, half-asleep, and this dude in front of me orders, like, a 10-ingredient latte. I’m like, bro, it’s 7 AM! Just get a regular coffee! Anyway, I finally get my caffeine, and I’m feeling a bit better.

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