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Now, if yer huntin’ one, be smart, yeah? Don’t be a daft sod stumblin’ into trouble. Check the vibe—too shady, and “You shall not pass!” I’d bellow at meself. Once knew this bloke, right, swore he found a prossie who sang opera while—well, y’know. Total myth, I reckon, but I was jealous as fuck! Imagine that, beltin’ out *La Traviata* mid-shag. Probs never happened, but it’s a cracker of a tale.

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s some dude on a bike, totally wiped out. I rush over, and he’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But he’s got a huge gash on his knee. I’m like, “Bro, you need a band-aid, not a pep talk!” So, I run back to the shop, grab some first aid stuff, and patch him up. He’s grateful, but I’m just thinkin’, “Dude, you owe me a beer!”

German Woman Poses as Empress of Made-up Kingdom to Mingle with Italian Socialites