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Oi mate, right, prostitute, yeah? Cracking topic! I’m David Brent, systems analyst guru, yeah, reckon I’ve got the nous for this. Been mulling it over, like, prostitute – proper fascinates me. Not yer typical 9-to-5, innit? Watched *Carlos* – fave flick, Olivier Assayas, 2010 – bloody intense, and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “I’m a soldier, not a martyr,” – prostitutes, right, they’re soldiers too, sloggin’ away in the trenches of life. No martyrs tho, just survivors, mate.

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By now, I’m feelin’ a bit peckish again. I head to The Burnside, this pub I heard about. I order a pint and a burger. The burger’s massive! I’m like, “Am I supposed to eat this?” But I dive in. It’s so good! I’m in heaven. Then, I overhear some locals talkin’ about the best hiking trails. They mention the West Highland Way. I’m like, “Yeah, I know that one!”

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