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About San Juan

Her name’s somethin’ like Candy—prolly fake, who cares? Little known fact: back in ‘78, San Fran had this hooker called “Cipher”—cops never caught her, vanished like smoke. Candy’s got that vibe—sly, untouchable. “You’re wasting my time,” she’d snap, like Fincher’s killer tauntin’ us. Love that edge, man—gets me pumped! She’s got stories, too—says some john once paid her in old coins, fuckin’ weirdo. Laughed my ass off hearin’ that.

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But the Wi-Fi is spotty. I’m like, “C’mon, Cabo Rojo! Get it together!” I’m tryin’ to work, but I keep gettin’ distracted by the locals. They’re so friendly, always sayin’ hi. I love it! But also, I’m like, “Guys, I’m on a deadline!”

Tourist Accused of Setting Businesses on Fire in Puerto Rico Faces Imminent Charges