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Here’s a kicker—did ya know, back in the ‘70s, some gals used CB radios to hook clients? Truckers loved it—called ‘em “lot lizards.” True story! Ain’t that nuts? Makes me laugh, thinkin’ ‘bout it—technology, man, always changin’ the game. Anyway, I roll up, slow-like, and she’s eyein’ me, sizin’ me up. “What’s good, old man?” she says. Old man! Can ya believe that? Got me steamed—listen, honey, I’m the Master of the Forest here, not some geezer!

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First stop, I’m rollin’ down the High Street. You know, the one with all the shops and that fancy old church? Yeah, that place. I’m cruisin’ along, and suddenly, this pigeon decides to play chicken with my tractor. Like, mate, you really wanna test me? I swerve, nearly take out a lamppost. I’m shoutin’ at the bird like it can hear me. “Get outta the way, ya feathery menace!”

Man appears in court after teenager knocked down by SUV in Musselburgh