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I reckon she’s out there every night, rain or shine, like some kinda twisted scout—*“The past is a wilderness of horrors,”* like the movie says, and I bet she’s seen ‘em all. Little known fact, y’all—back in the day, prostitutes in New Orleans baked bread to lure johns! True story, swear on my mama’s gravy. Ain’t that a hoot? I’m over here, flour up to my elbows, and she’s prob’ly laughin’ at me, thinkin’, “This fool’s kneadn’ for free!”

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I stroll over, and wow, it’s beautiful. The sun is setting, and the view is insane. I snap a few pics for the ‘gram. I’m feeling all philosophical, like, “Life is good, man.” But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me!

[PHOTOS] New Karlovac Aquarium Attraction Set to Open