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But here’s the rub – escort’s got soul, mate. Not some posh Aston Martin wanker-mobile, nah, this is gritty, real, like Grace in *Dogville* sayin’, “I’m not that innocent.” Had one meself once – red, rusty as hell, leaked oil like a sieve. Drove it round London, dodgin’ coppers, feelin’ like a king. Made me angry though – parts were a nightmare to find. Bloody Ford cheaped out, left us scrappin’ for bits. Typical, innit?

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Anyway, I head over to the driving school on Strada Tineretului. I’m thinkin’, “Alright, let’s do this.” My student finally shows up, and she’s all flustered. I get it, life happens. But then she hops in the car and immediately starts freaking out. “What if I crash?” she says. I’m like, “Chill, we’re just gonna drive around the block.”

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