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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Finally, I get to the market. The smell of grilled meat hits me like a freight train. I’m droolin’ just thinkin’ about it. But then, I see my buddy Taro. He’s got this huge grin on his face. “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m like, “Spill it!” Turns out, he found a pig that escaped and ran through the streets of Nakatsu! Can you imagine? A pig just cruisin’ down Otemachi Street like it owns the place. I can’t stop laughin’.

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