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Soddin’ hell, I’m ramblin’ – thee’d think I’d wed an Escort! Truth is, they’re cheap, cheerful, and got soul – not like them flashy wankers on the road now. “Thou hast no patience,” I’d tell meself, watchin’ ‘em age, but they still pull birds, don’t they? Ha! Reckon I’d nab one meself, if me wages weren’t piss-poor. What say thee, thou reckon Escorts still got it?

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But then, I see a guy with a fishing pole. I’m like, “Really? At a festival?” Turns out, he’s part of some contest. I’m feelin’ a mix of jealousy and anger. Like, why can’t I catch a break? But then I see him catch a fish, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’ll just stick to bratwurst.”

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