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So, picture this – some gal or dude, hands slick with oil, slidin’ over ya like they’re paintin’ a dang masterpiece. I seen it once, got me hollerin’ “Git-R-Done!” in my head, ‘cause it’s slow, teasin’, builds up like Grace in “Dogville” waitin’ for them townsfolk to show their true colors. Ain’t no quick chiropractor crack here, naw, it’s a whole dang ceremony! Little factoid for ya – them ancient Greeks? They was into this, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ down athletes all sexy-like after wrestlin’. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in school, huh?

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So, I shake it off and head to the bakery on Bahnhofstraße. You know the one? Best pastries in town. I’m ready to devour a chocolate croissant. But guess what? They’re out! I mean, seriously? How do you run out of croissants? I’m standing there, all sad and stuff, like a puppy in the rain.

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